No job is worth your well-being.
How to know when it might be time to go. And a note for people leaders.
Your worth is not defined by the job you leave behind;
it's measured by the courage you have to choose yourself.
~Unknown
Reminder: if any job has you…
➡ doubting your abilities, skills and worth on the regular
➡ leaving work most days in tears or frustration
➡ questioning if you're not resilient, strong, capable or smart enough
➡ finding your sleep and ability to function disrupted
➡ wondering if your mental health is being compromised
➡ defaulting into the belief that it's all on you
...then it's time to seriously ask yourself if this is the place for you.
*NOTE: this is just as true for my self-employed folks
No workplace is perfect, and you'll certainly bump up against hard situations or challenging people.
We’re not talking about bad days or occasional frustrations. Those are to be expected.
What isn't to be expected is a work environment where you're constantly questioning your own worth. That is not ok.
When you're in it, it can be hard to see a way out. You might convince yourself that with all your years in, it would be foolish to quit now. You might tell yourself that you've just got to work harder or better; or that you should be stronger or more resilient.
And while we can always work on building our inner capacities, sometimes the truth is that WE'RE not the problem to be solved.
Because if you're fighting your way to feel whole enough to just exist at work, something is wrong. And that something is bigger than you just needing to 'suck it up' or 'put your head down.'
I won't pretend leaving a job, quitting a business, or going to HR is easy or without consequence. And it might take more time than you’d like to get where you want to go, because bills need to get paid.
But I will say that your well-being, your mental health and your sense of self-worth is to be protected at all costs.
And if the place you work isn't invested in helping you protect it, then that's as big a red flag as they get.
You deserve to be treated with care and consideration. You deserve to be set up to succeed at work. And you deserve to be in a place where your contributions are valued.
If that's not your reality, start taking small steps to make it so.
➡ Start reaching out to your network
➡ Document concerning conversations
➡ Get your resume dusted off and ready to go, or…
➡ Prepare your business for a pivot (or a sale, shut-down or business model change)
➡ Prioritize self-care -- like, radical self-care
➡ Find someone to talk to about it (like a coach, therapist)
➡ Remind yourself regularly of ALL the evidence you have of your abilities
➡ Trust yourself that what you're experiencing is real
➡ Surround yourself with people who will support you in making a change or speaking up
It may take time to shift into something better. But keep going.
One day you won't be in this place. You'll be on the other side, breathing more clearly and looking back in awe that you made it through.
And you will.
➡ A final p.s. to the people leaders reading this: your number one job is to ensure the conditions where your people don't feel like what I outlined above. And that comes in more than mental health platitudes -- it comes in daily action, honoured commitments and a deep sense of care.
And that includes you too. If you’re experiencing harm at work, and hanging on to act as a shield for your team, then the problem is compounded. As my friend and past client, Roselle says, “The sad truth is that setting oneself on fire to keep everyone else warm isn’t actually serving anyone.” Truth.
Leader Links
A curated collection of links worth clicking.
— ICYMI: External chaos; internal calm (written pre-election but just as relevant)
— What’s the difference between stress and burnout? Some helpful distinctions given the rise in our usage of the term ‘burnout’
— This has absolutely nothing to do with being a leader, but if you’re a Nerds Gummy Cluster fan like me, you might find this interesting (NYT gift link)
— Things to do when you’re stuck » Skewed more toward the writers in the room, but the points are easily applicable to other contexts
— Why is it so hard to leave a bad job? (HBR)
Work with Me
If you’re looking to grow as a leader, let’s chat.
Being a leader is sometimes lonely, oftentimes challenging work. Especially right now.
People look to you for answers on complex (and not-so-complex) problems all day long. Whether they be clients, staff, the Executive Leadership Team or your community-at-large, it can get overwhelming to be on call for everyone else.
I’m your confidante, your expert guide, your cheerleader, your accountability partner, and your safe place to share the ups and downs of your life and leadership.
I’ll be the person that helps you cool down before you respond to feedback or a hard conversation, and I’ll help you find the words to communicate with clarity and confidence. I’ll help you problem-solve, re-imagine and plan for what’s next.
And I’ll hold your feet to the fire when you find yourself over-thinking, procrastinating or stuck in the mud.
I’ve got space in my calendar for a couple of new clients starting in June. If you’d like to explore working together, I’d love to chat. There are two main ways to work with me:
Leadership Coaching — 3, 6 or 9 month engagements
On Demand Voxer Coaching — monthly as needed (great over the summer months!)
Want to chat? Book a quick chat with me or hit reply and we’ll figure out if coaching is right for you.
