This made me cry hard. Thank you for sharing in doing so you reminded me of so much. I hope doing this helps with your grief, but doesn’t fix it because it’s an important part of life to love and to experience loss. Grief never gets fixed in my experience, but you sure show how to process it. thank you for your beautiful words. Big hugs.
Ahh thanks Diana. 🥺❤️ I love your sentiment about not fixing grief - how true. It reminds us of our capacity to love. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. One day at a time is my motto right now.
Steph, I'm so sorry for your loss. This is such a beautiful reflection and loving tribute to your father. It's so moving to see the impact he has had and continues to have on your life and work. It's so powerful to recognize how people can influence how we choose to live and interact with the world - not just their positive traits and accomplishments, but the challenges they faced as well. Thank you for sharing this. It's so inspiring.
I'm so sorry for your loss Steph. Your dad sounds both remarkable and complex. How sad that he lost his purpose once he stopped working. I don't think that's unusual with that generation because retirement is a most unfortunate word and not an easy transition.
My mum died unexpectedly at the start of the year and I empathise. She too was remarkable and complex. There are aspects of her which I understand much better now; but other parts of her which will forever remain a mystery.
Oh Denyse, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Loss is never easy, but sometimes made harder when the relationship is complex (and/or the person themselves is).
Thanks for your kind and thoughtful words about my post/dad. And I totally agree re that generation. What is interesting is that my step-dad who is only a couple of years younger than my dad was, is the opposite. He retired early after a 3-decade career as an air traffic controller. He and my mom travel, he hikes, he serves on community boards and he tinkers with his cars (an Austin mini). The difference I think was that his work was a means to an end, not the end itself. He loved his job - but it was only part of who he was/is.
My mum struggled with retirement because her career in nursing had been everything to her. She was headhunted back into work after a short retirement and carried on until she was 75. She did better with retirement the second time around, but there was still a hole because she lived to work, not worked to live. Which is the point I think you're making. There simply wasn't the space for other enjoyments in life, even though she was highly accomplished at a number of things. Work was effectively an addiction.
Your stepdad sounds like he has a rounded approach to life, and is having a blast.
Thanks Pepper. ☺️ And I agree - I think it’s in the challenges that we learn the most. I take the good, and the bad. It all shaped me. ❤️
This made me cry hard. Thank you for sharing in doing so you reminded me of so much. I hope doing this helps with your grief, but doesn’t fix it because it’s an important part of life to love and to experience loss. Grief never gets fixed in my experience, but you sure show how to process it. thank you for your beautiful words. Big hugs.
Ahh thanks Diana. 🥺❤️ I love your sentiment about not fixing grief - how true. It reminds us of our capacity to love. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. One day at a time is my motto right now.
Steph, I'm so sorry for your loss. This is such a beautiful reflection and loving tribute to your father. It's so moving to see the impact he has had and continues to have on your life and work. It's so powerful to recognize how people can influence how we choose to live and interact with the world - not just their positive traits and accomplishments, but the challenges they faced as well. Thank you for sharing this. It's so inspiring.
I'm so sorry for your loss Steph. Your dad sounds both remarkable and complex. How sad that he lost his purpose once he stopped working. I don't think that's unusual with that generation because retirement is a most unfortunate word and not an easy transition.
My mum died unexpectedly at the start of the year and I empathise. She too was remarkable and complex. There are aspects of her which I understand much better now; but other parts of her which will forever remain a mystery.
Oh Denyse, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Loss is never easy, but sometimes made harder when the relationship is complex (and/or the person themselves is).
Thanks for your kind and thoughtful words about my post/dad. And I totally agree re that generation. What is interesting is that my step-dad who is only a couple of years younger than my dad was, is the opposite. He retired early after a 3-decade career as an air traffic controller. He and my mom travel, he hikes, he serves on community boards and he tinkers with his cars (an Austin mini). The difference I think was that his work was a means to an end, not the end itself. He loved his job - but it was only part of who he was/is.
We are complex beings, aren’t we? 😊
We most certainly are!
My mum struggled with retirement because her career in nursing had been everything to her. She was headhunted back into work after a short retirement and carried on until she was 75. She did better with retirement the second time around, but there was still a hole because she lived to work, not worked to live. Which is the point I think you're making. There simply wasn't the space for other enjoyments in life, even though she was highly accomplished at a number of things. Work was effectively an addiction.
Your stepdad sounds like he has a rounded approach to life, and is having a blast.
Wow Steph such a well written tribute to your Dad and the gifts we an find in the messiness of being human.
Thanks Nancy. ❤️ And the “messiness of being human” is one of my favourite phrases. Nothing feels more true.
Sorry for your loss, Stephanie. I loved this well written piece.
Thank you, Carole. 🙏🏻