This is a great article, Stephanie. I am passed this now in many ways because my kids are grown (and living this themselves.) But your words took me right back there. It was a visceral experience. It seems like a cruel joke that at the very time you are striving the hardest to grow your career, family demands are at their peak - if not the demands of raising children in a complex world, then the challenges of supporting aging parents, or both. And while the overwhelming burden seems to STILL fall on women, many of my male clients are struggling too. And instead of making it easier, technology and the ensuing freneticism it creates, is actually making it more challenging. Many readers will resonate with this. And acknowledging it and bringing us into the experience of it, as you do here, while still offering a way forward is helpful. Thank you.
Oh Cathy - thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. I was nodding my head to all of it - it is a frustrating reality that everything often seems to converge at the exact same moment. And you're right, while I certainly wrote this with women in mind, I too hear from male friends and clients that this is their reality -- albeit often to a lesser extent -- as well.
And yes, technology has offered us ways to streamline and automate and assist us, AND, has also added to the sense of always being on and available.
It's a tricky balance, and most of us just put our heads down and keep on going at the risk of sounding whiny or ungrateful or whatever. I certainly had many moments writing this where I was worried that's how it came across.
But I also think it's important to name a thing -- if for no other reason than to let other people know they aren't alone.
Steph. Congratulations. I know this took a while to write and create in a way that resonated with you and the end result is something you should be proud of.
As I read (and listened) I found myself nodding and talking back to you with so many “Yes, I can relate”.
One of the things that really stood out for me was when you talked about maybe it isn’t poor time management or an inability to prioritize that is preventing me from moving things forward/getting things complete. Maybe it is the mental load.
Thank you for continuing to write and share and create content that challenges me to think and push.
Glad that part resonated — it was really the impetus for the entire piece. So much of my time with clients is spent helping them figure out how to find more space and focus for the things that matter. And that can easily lead to them beating themselves up for not making time.
And then they’d list all the things on their plates at any given moment and — connection made. MAYBE, just maybe, it wasn’t only about focus. lol
This was an amazing article! I read every single word, nodding in agreement the entire time. And, I can relate to everything here, from the traveling husband to the busy kids to...ugh, the laundry. It's all so real and yet, yes, it all somehow feels so invisible. Sometimes I can readily admit to myself that life is busy and my mental over-load is real. Other times, I wonder how everyone else seems to be doing it and what's wrong with me? Honestly, articles like this make me feel seen, and remind me that there plenty of us going through the same things. Thank you for sharing, thank you for this reminder...really needed it this week!
I’m so glad you felt seen in this, because you’re right, it can be an isolating experience when we’re in it, assuming everyone else has their poop in a group, while we’re struggling to juggle all the (invisible) balls. lol
Sounds like we’re leading parallel lives right now, so sending you all the strength. :) I don’t know about you, but sometimes I’m less fussed with whether it all gets solved/fixed, but more just that it’s acknowledged. But that’s the tricky part with invisible work — it’s hard to acknowledge what we don’t see/know is even happening. :)
Onward — and thank you for your thoughts. I appreciate you.
I was nodding every step of the way reading this! No wonder we are exhausted and wondering why we're not further ahead. Thank you for sharing how this shows up for you and not just leaving it there. It gives me hope to know there are shifts I can make and things I can do. 👏🏼 🥰
Yes, no freaking wonder. lol I feel like this will always be a work in progress for most of us, but naming a thing can sometimes feel like a win in and of itself. Glad it resonated. :)
This article really hits home! The constant juggle of invisible labor and persuing what we want for ourselves can be so overwhelming and make us feel bad if we don't feel like we're making progress where we want to. It's reassuring to know I'm not alone in feeling like my ambitions get sidetracked by daily demands. Thanks for putting this into words, Stephanie! I'm gonna go fight for my ambitions now.
Yes, that's such a big piece of it -- remembering that we're not the only ones who find themselves sidetracked (or off track) of our ambitions due to 'life lifeing' - lol. Let's go fight for them together.
This relates to something I've been writing about recently Steph, which is the need for strategies to fall back on when your motivation is low, and for endurance to kick in. Motivation and endurance can be hard to come by when you're carrying a heavy load. But it's endurance which will keep you on the field of play and lead you to your goals and ambitions.
If you are feeling stretched-too-thin and tired from all that ALWAYS remains to be done, gift yourself the time to read this - because you are not alone.
I count myself lucky to have worked with Stephanie Pollock and have benefited greatly from her knowledge, insight, and advice over the years. As always, Stephanie's thoughtful post holds so many deep truths about our ambitions and the toll the mental load takes (and maybe even a quote from me from our honest conversation about the topic - DM me if you can guess which quote was mine.)
"It's no wonder that our ambitions often take a backseat amidst the chaos of daily life. Yet, recognizing the invisible labour we undertake is the first step toward reclaiming our dreams and aspirations."
I strive to hold place for a weekly practice I learned from Stephanie through her courses and Leadership community: a personal Leadership review that guides growth and learning while helping to reground me in my values and priorities. Given how genuinely relevant this post is for me at this time, I plan to reread it as part of my weekly practice until I can successfully integrate how to better manage the mental load AND offer myself kindness.
What resonates with you personally or professionally when reading her insightful newsletter?
This is a great article, Stephanie. I am passed this now in many ways because my kids are grown (and living this themselves.) But your words took me right back there. It was a visceral experience. It seems like a cruel joke that at the very time you are striving the hardest to grow your career, family demands are at their peak - if not the demands of raising children in a complex world, then the challenges of supporting aging parents, or both. And while the overwhelming burden seems to STILL fall on women, many of my male clients are struggling too. And instead of making it easier, technology and the ensuing freneticism it creates, is actually making it more challenging. Many readers will resonate with this. And acknowledging it and bringing us into the experience of it, as you do here, while still offering a way forward is helpful. Thank you.
Oh Cathy - thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. I was nodding my head to all of it - it is a frustrating reality that everything often seems to converge at the exact same moment. And you're right, while I certainly wrote this with women in mind, I too hear from male friends and clients that this is their reality -- albeit often to a lesser extent -- as well.
And yes, technology has offered us ways to streamline and automate and assist us, AND, has also added to the sense of always being on and available.
It's a tricky balance, and most of us just put our heads down and keep on going at the risk of sounding whiny or ungrateful or whatever. I certainly had many moments writing this where I was worried that's how it came across.
But I also think it's important to name a thing -- if for no other reason than to let other people know they aren't alone.
Thanks again for weighing in -- I appreciate you.
Steph. Congratulations. I know this took a while to write and create in a way that resonated with you and the end result is something you should be proud of.
As I read (and listened) I found myself nodding and talking back to you with so many “Yes, I can relate”.
One of the things that really stood out for me was when you talked about maybe it isn’t poor time management or an inability to prioritize that is preventing me from moving things forward/getting things complete. Maybe it is the mental load.
Thank you for continuing to write and share and create content that challenges me to think and push.
Thanks Nekolina!
Glad that part resonated — it was really the impetus for the entire piece. So much of my time with clients is spent helping them figure out how to find more space and focus for the things that matter. And that can easily lead to them beating themselves up for not making time.
And then they’d list all the things on their plates at any given moment and — connection made. MAYBE, just maybe, it wasn’t only about focus. lol
Thanks for adding your voice to this!
This was an amazing article! I read every single word, nodding in agreement the entire time. And, I can relate to everything here, from the traveling husband to the busy kids to...ugh, the laundry. It's all so real and yet, yes, it all somehow feels so invisible. Sometimes I can readily admit to myself that life is busy and my mental over-load is real. Other times, I wonder how everyone else seems to be doing it and what's wrong with me? Honestly, articles like this make me feel seen, and remind me that there plenty of us going through the same things. Thank you for sharing, thank you for this reminder...really needed it this week!
Oh thank you, Julie!
I’m so glad you felt seen in this, because you’re right, it can be an isolating experience when we’re in it, assuming everyone else has their poop in a group, while we’re struggling to juggle all the (invisible) balls. lol
Sounds like we’re leading parallel lives right now, so sending you all the strength. :) I don’t know about you, but sometimes I’m less fussed with whether it all gets solved/fixed, but more just that it’s acknowledged. But that’s the tricky part with invisible work — it’s hard to acknowledge what we don’t see/know is even happening. :)
Onward — and thank you for your thoughts. I appreciate you.
Poop in a group...I'm using that. Thanks for the giggle! Onward!
Haha! Maybe it’s a Canadian expression? I say it to my kids all the time. Lol
Thank you Stephanie, I can really relate to this, especially the invisible labor. I’ll be reflecting on this. A big smile to you, and gratitude!
Thanks so much, Pegge! Glad it resonated for you, and I really appreciate you letting me know. Onward we go!
Onward, with a deep breath! 🌼
I was nodding every step of the way reading this! No wonder we are exhausted and wondering why we're not further ahead. Thank you for sharing how this shows up for you and not just leaving it there. It gives me hope to know there are shifts I can make and things I can do. 👏🏼 🥰
Yes, no freaking wonder. lol I feel like this will always be a work in progress for most of us, but naming a thing can sometimes feel like a win in and of itself. Glad it resonated. :)
This article really hits home! The constant juggle of invisible labor and persuing what we want for ourselves can be so overwhelming and make us feel bad if we don't feel like we're making progress where we want to. It's reassuring to know I'm not alone in feeling like my ambitions get sidetracked by daily demands. Thanks for putting this into words, Stephanie! I'm gonna go fight for my ambitions now.
Yes, that's such a big piece of it -- remembering that we're not the only ones who find themselves sidetracked (or off track) of our ambitions due to 'life lifeing' - lol. Let's go fight for them together.
This relates to something I've been writing about recently Steph, which is the need for strategies to fall back on when your motivation is low, and for endurance to kick in. Motivation and endurance can be hard to come by when you're carrying a heavy load. But it's endurance which will keep you on the field of play and lead you to your goals and ambitions.
If you are feeling stretched-too-thin and tired from all that ALWAYS remains to be done, gift yourself the time to read this - because you are not alone.
I count myself lucky to have worked with Stephanie Pollock and have benefited greatly from her knowledge, insight, and advice over the years. As always, Stephanie's thoughtful post holds so many deep truths about our ambitions and the toll the mental load takes (and maybe even a quote from me from our honest conversation about the topic - DM me if you can guess which quote was mine.)
"It's no wonder that our ambitions often take a backseat amidst the chaos of daily life. Yet, recognizing the invisible labour we undertake is the first step toward reclaiming our dreams and aspirations."
I strive to hold place for a weekly practice I learned from Stephanie through her courses and Leadership community: a personal Leadership review that guides growth and learning while helping to reground me in my values and priorities. Given how genuinely relevant this post is for me at this time, I plan to reread it as part of my weekly practice until I can successfully integrate how to better manage the mental load AND offer myself kindness.
What resonates with you personally or professionally when reading her insightful newsletter?